Monday, August 11, 2014

Early Autumn

What wonderfull weather we have!
Windy, leaves are falling, sunny but a bit chilly... it's just great. :)
I just found this beautiful photo on tumblr...

...everything looks so calm. There's frost and it's cold. Everything is still.
I want to be there, watching the deers, with a camera and a warm scarf. And after a long walk in the woods I would go back to my cabin, sit infront of the fireplace and drink hot chocolate, with my dogs and blankets.

Tumblr is my biggest inspiration. I sit here every morning, drinking my huge cup of coffee and watch photos like these. It is what keeps me going. What will keep me going until that day - the day I will move far, far north.

I need a major change. I find myself trying to change the little things. I dye my hair red - now I want it brown. I took out my 16 mm earplugs - I wanted smaller ones. I tried my 14 mm's - they fit and I'm happy with them. For now. I want to remove my septum - I'm not a huge fan of piercings anymore. But what if I change my mind? It freaking hurts to re-make it.
I wanted all black clothes. I wanted to decorate my whole bedroom in dark things. Now I dont know what I want. 
I'm in such desperate need of a change, that I try to change these little things. Constantly. And I get mad with myself.
Why can't I just be?

And why are we people so scared of getting rid of things? I need to throw out half my wardrobe, but I dont. I'm scared that one day I will want to wear that old hoodie. But I know I wont.
I want to sell all the shit we own, use the money to move away from here, but I dont. We dont. Why?
Why is the freaking TV so important?!

God. I just want to live in a simple cabin in the woods, with that fireplace. 
But then, the next day, I decide that I cant live without internet or movies. 

So here I am, no idea what I want or what to do.

But on the other hand I have my work. It ends in 6 months. Then I'm free. But what if I cant save enough move until then, to move? 


  1. Damn girl....du verkar vara mer velig än vanligt.

    1. Jag skulle vilja kalla det "störd"... mer än vanligt. ;)

    2. Hrmm, jag valde ett finare ord bara.
      Men jag är lika skum som du...jag går och funderar på att ta ut min ring i läppen...jag älskar den men jag vet ej fan ...septumen vågar jag inte ta ut än. För göra om det gör jag inte.
      Måste vara 100% säker innan det görs.
      Tror det är vädret som gör detta störda fenomen!

    3. Ja, fundera, fundera!
      Jag tror inte det är vädret, jag tror vi ändras. :) Vi kanske håller på att bli vuxna...? NOOOOOO! THE HORROR!

    4. Kanske, men jag tror inte jag är på väg att ändras på det viset.
      Kommer alltid vara en rebell.
      Men jag måste tänka på jobb med.
      Kan vara awesome utan piercing i läppen. Tror det handlar om att välja det som är mest lämpligt

  2. Oh dear. I hope that you can save enough money to get your little cabin in the woods. Then at least you will know one way or the other whether that's what you really want. You can still watch movies though! And if we can't get internet at the LGC, I'll let you know how I cope without it. Somehow I'll let you know. ;)

    1. I hope so too! And I was thinking the same... will probably have to rent a place to kinda feel how it feels first. ^^
      When I watch movies a want a small cinema, but I've figured it out - One livingroom for movie-time and one livingroom for a fireplace, both rooms including cosy sofas etc.
      I need a big cabin... !

      Haha, goodie! ;D

  3. I often feel the same way and I often change my mind too; right now I just don't know what I want, what I want to look like, what I want my home look like, what I want to do...I think, that's just how my brain reacts to changes; total confusion. And it's normal, things tend to sort themselves out anyway...:)
    Perhaps you could take some time for yourself and think about what has to change and what you really want? :)

    1. I guess they do, but during that confusing time - it's pretty damn confusing! xD
      I'm glad I'm not the only one having these "issues". ;)
      Yeah, I think I have to. I've tried, but 30 min later I change my mind again. One thing I'm sure about though, is that I wont make any major changes as long as I cant make up my mind. We all know how chnages like that ends. ;D

  4. I love that picture! I know what you mean, I managed not to dye my hair for years and now I have dyed it a couple of colours and I feel like changing again! I often change clothing styles, I usually stay with cheap second hand clothes so it doesn't cost too much, although I have become addicted to a lovely online store called HolyClothing. I want a simple life too, a little house, a garden, dogs and cats. I want to save although what I really need is a proper job to get that! It's fine to change all the time, it keeps things interesting! Just don't get rid of anything you are emotionally attached to!

    1. Me too, it's beautiful!
      Ah, those online stores. ;) But yeah, second hand is a good idea. I still haven't looked for one around here. *Lazy*
      I know, right! But then getting a job is not that easy. And it has to be in the right place, preferably not further away than 1 hour from your home. I myself need an education before I'll look for another job, so that dream cabin is atleast 1 year infront of me.
      And no, I wont get rid of things just yet! :)